Coping with Criticism Constructively
Whatever leaders do, they should not ‘demonize the opposition.’ If leaders do, their own followers may lose respect for them and fear to raise legitimate concerns later on themselves. The focus of criticism should remain on the purpose of the organization, not on the personality of the leader.[34]
Personal prayer affords one of the mightiest weapons available to leaders in their battles against destructive criticism. On those occasions, they should ask God to paint-the-dragon-red.[35] This type of prayer involves asking God to reveal the true nature of what people are saying or doing to others and to themselves, so that people might have the opportunity to repent, change their opinions, or, at least, know who to believe.
Many people when confronting criticism quote the adage, “Consider the source.” Like most maxims, this advice has been passed on from generation to generation because it has proven beneficial in so many instances. Some people frankly complain because they are complainers; others complain because they are crushed by the weight of deplorable situations in their lives. In these latter cases, Trevor Throness observes, “People who hurt the most, hurt the most. So always consider the source.”[36]
Leaders should adopt the philosophy of one self-made millionaire, who said, “I will accept criticism only from someone who has something to gain from my success.”[37] This way leaders can be relatively confident that the criticism is meant to be constructive. Those who care about leaders want them to succeed. Their criticisms can be relied upon to improve the situation, or at least to be motivated properly.
Resources to Help Cope with Criticism
Another way to disarm critics is to take advantage of the ‘AAAA’ approach to coping with criticism. First, leaders ‘acknowledge’ that they have heard the criticism. Second, they ‘ask’ the critic for more information. Third, they ‘align’ with the critic on something they both agree on. And fourth, leaders ‘add’ their own comments from their perspective.[38]
Alice Smith recommends that leaders “present the attacker [i.e., the critic] with a gift and an expression of thanks,” when the criticism is constructive.[39] Since so few people respond well to criticism, such an act of humility could turn a stern critic into a staunch champion.
A bold approach would be for leaders to take their critics along with them, if apropos, when they perform whatever task the critic thinks could be improved upon (e.g., visitation, interventions, confrontations, administration, etc.). The intent would be for the critic to discover how much easier it is to criticize than to correct many situations.[40]
In addition, Ben Patterson prescribes use of the following resources for dealing with critics: self-acceptance, rest, proper perspective, journaling, Scripture memorization, prayer partners, and family support.[41] As a pastor, he has survived several personal attacks over a long and fruitful ministry by taking advantage of these means.
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