Coping with Criticism Constructively
Openness on the part of leaders to constructive criticism does not grant critics permission to dictate all the details of their lives. Consequently, an appropriate initial response by leaders to criticism may include a simple verbal thank you followed by a commitment to think the matter over and to come to a personal conclusion. Leaders must not allow criticism to become the driving force in their lives whether it is positive or negative.[27]
Diehm says, “We tend to become the object of our attention. If we focus on what the critics say, we tend to become what they say we are. If we focus our attention on the good things we do, the good things tend to grow.”[28] Leaders become what they think about in many cases.
Spurgeon once gave a lecture to his students with the graphic title of “The Blind Eye and the Deaf Ear.” In that address he warns church leaders, “You cannot stop people’s tongues, and therefore the best thing is to stop your own ears and never mind what is spoken.”[29] In plain English, leaders should not look for trouble or pay attention to every word of criticism spoken against them. This title of Spurgeon’s lecture to his students serves as a memorable way of setting forth one of the main duties of leaders in regards to criticism.
The classic statement on the importance of ignoring critics comes from the pen of Abraham Lincoln during the Civil War:
If I were to try to read, much less to answer, all the attacks made on me, this shop might as well be closed for any other business. I do the very best I know how—the very best I can; and I mean to keep on doing so until the end. If the end brings me out all right, then what is said against me won’t matter. If the end brings me out wrong, then ten angels swearing I was right would make no difference.[30]
From time to time, when appropriate, the best thing to do with criticism is to overlook it.
Refuse to Fight with Critics
Seldom, if ever, should leaders clash with their critics. Diehm calls attention to the fact that anger is not justified if the criticism is right, nor it is productive if the criticism is wrong. Rather, serious animosity may make the leader worthy of steady criticism later on.[31]
One of the most important things to remember, according to Marshall Shelley, is “when attacked by a dragon, do not become one.”[32] He then cites the apostle Paul, “Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody” (Rom. 12:17).[33] Joseph serves as an example of one who handled criticism well when he said to his brothers, “ ‘You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good’ ” (Gen. 50:20). Many times observers, fairly or unfairly, determine the guilt or innocence of their leaders by how successfully they respond to criticism.
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