Coping with Criticism Constructively
Remain Calm at the Outset of Criticism
When first confronted by a critic, leaders would be wise to stay calm and acknowledge that they heard the criticism. Then they should make certain that they have heard the critic correctly, maybe by repeating it back. Next, leaders should assure the critic that they will pray and think over the matter. In special cases, a follow-up letter to the critic may be appropriate.[23]
For instance, Charles Spurgeon advised leaders to ask critics to write down their criticisms, so that they can be studied carefully and at length to find the root of the ‘real’ problem. Though he quickly points out that from his vast experience most critics will refuse to do so. They prefer not to be so specific. General criticisms are more difficult to refute than are specific criticisms.[24] Leaders could also request that critics include possible solutions to the supposed problems in their written statements. Many issues are easier to criticize than they are to correct. After critics are confronted with the fact that simple solutions are not always readily available, they may well reconsider their censures. If they are not sincere, they will fear the risk of exposure that accompanies written correspondences. This suggestion is likewise a practical way to discover whether the criticism is constructive or destructive.
Do Not Allow Critics to Exercise Total Control
Church leaders must not succumb to a critic’s attempts to dominate their ministries or lives. When practical, sometimes the best course of action consists of merely ignoring the criticism, but not the critic. At other times, it may not be prudent to ignore the person depending on their influence and the nature of their criticism. In the latter cases, leaders may miss a chance to strengthen a relationship with a significant person in their church or organization if they remain silent. In any event, leaders should always resist the temptation to sulk, pout, or beat themselves up. And most of all, they should refuse to give up altogether.[25]
Another reason why leaders should not allow critics to run their lives is because leaders often exaggerate the number of their critics. Instead, leaders should weigh their critics, not count them. Some critics have significantly more influence than others do. A few may have more interest at stake in the issue at hand. Others are more easily dismissed. Critics themselves commonly tend to exaggerate the size of their following to increase their clout. Therefore, one person of influence should be given more consideration than a group of non-influencers.[26]
Followers
Fans
