Healthy Leadership and the High Cost of Caring
We have seen that pastors and ministry leaders are not only susceptible to increased levels of stress, but when combined with a call to love and serve others, the result is what is commonly referred to as compassion fatigue. Compassion fatigue can be understood as a comprehensive exhaustion that takes place over time when one is constantly in the “giving” position and as a result, loses his/her ability and motivation to experience joy, satisfaction, or to feel and care for others.6 Pastors now join the ranks of other caregivers (e.g. doctors, nurses, counselors, social workers, teachers, disaster relief workers, crisis responders, EMT personnel, etc.) in being among the most vulnerable of groups in this regard. It is sometimes referred to as secondary or vicarious traumatic stress associated with the emotional residue related to the cause of caring. The traumatic event or crisis did not happen to you directly, but you were close enough to those it did impact, so that its detrimental effects can still have a causal effect (much like secondhand smoke).
Perhaps by now, just reading this article feels a bit disheartening. However, we must consider a proactive strategy in addressing the realities of being in the ministry. Before doing so, it is essential that we likewise understand the two primary categories of stress. First, there is the stress of the ministry. Would you agree with me that just working and being around people (sheep can also bite as some of you know), is stressful? Second, there is the stress we bring into the ministry (e.g. unresolved hurts of our own, patterns of besetting sin, unhealthy relationships, unforgiveness, an insecure leadership style, extreme control needs, etc.). Pastors and ministry leaders who have successfully addressed the second category of stress (what we bring), will do a much better job in handling the first category.
Here is a potentially difficult, but important question we must all ask ourselves from time-to-time: Is my ministry causing the problems in my life; or, is my ministry revealing the problems in my life? Stress and pressure have a way of squeezing things out of us. The good news is that cause-and-effect dynamics can be improved or resolved and revelation can be used by the Holy Spirit to promote needed adjustments and change. Our role is to have “ears to hear”, “eyes to see”, and a heart that is willing and open before the Lord.
You might wonder, what goes into a good stress prevention or self-care plan? The following are a number of principles you may find helpful in your own journey. Take them and prayerfully develop a personalized approach tailored to your needs and/or situation. Write the plan down and review it at least once every week. Start by being honest with yourself and be open to what the Holy Spirit is speaking.
Learn how to recognize the stress-producing areas in your life that might need attention and take ownership of what needs to be done. “Let us search out and examine our ways, and turn back to the Lord” (Lam. 3:40). You cannot extinguish a problem until you can distinguish a problem. Things that remain a secret usually continue to have power over us and may be sources of fear, guilt, and shame. Here is my definition of fear: it is the “darkroom” that develops all our negatives. Fear is a dark place where negative thoughts, emotions, and behaviors emerge. The only thing I know of that will stop a developing photograph in its tracks is light. This is because light penetrates and darkness does not. Ephesians 5:13 says, “But all things that are exposed are made manifest by the light, for whatever makes manifest is light.”
Learn how to renew your mind. We need to reject the lies of Satan and replace them with the truth of God’s Word. It is like taking an antibiotic to fight off an infection. However, the “medicine” will never do us any good unless and until we take it in—so to with the Word. The process is like weeding in a garden. If the ground is dry and hard, it can be very difficult to remove the weeds. God’s Word washes our minds and softens our “heart ground”, thereby allowing Him to root out the things in our life that have become detrimental to spiritual, emotional, and relational health. Paul encourages us in Romans to “Not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God” (12:2).
Learn to depersonalize some of what you do in the ministry and limit your time around negative people. People frequently bring a host of complaints and problems to ministry leaders where they may not necessarily be encouraged, positive in their outlook, or full of faith in the midst of the pain. This can be draining after awhile—remember Jethro’s observation of Moses in the wilderness that he was “wearing himself out” while trying to counsel everyone (Exodus 18). Criticism is a frequent companion of any leader, but sometimes, it is an adult form of crying or throwing a tantrum. Leaders can become a lightening rod of sorts simply because they are in an authority position at the moment by virtue of their title or position. This can be especially true if a person has unresolved issues arising from their family of origin, so it is important to remember that strong negative reactions may not really be about you or your leadership.
Learn how to not lose sight of your first love because “you” are not your ministry. Before your identity as a pastor or ministry leader…before your identity as a husband, wife, father, mother, or a number of other roles, you and I are first and foremost, the adopted sons and daughters of our Heavenly Father. We must not allow the “ministry” to become the “mistress” in our walk with God because it becomes like chasing the wind and is a formula for discouragement and burnout. When Jesus prayed in selecting His Apostles, the Scripture says that “He appointed twelve, that they might be with Him and that He might send them out to preach, and to have power to heal sicknesses and to cast out demons” (Mark 3:14-15). It is a blessing and privilege to be given opportunities to preach the Gospel, move in the miraculous, and engage in frontline spiritual warfare, but this is not the first reason that God has called or appointed you either. It is that you and I “might be with Him,” our first love.
Category: Fall 2011, Ministry, Pneuma Review
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